Football Poets

Who was the greatest player that Stanley Matthews ever saw?
Cymru’s TG Jones.

Who was the greatest player that Dixie Dean ever saw?
Everton’s TG Jones.

Who was the greatest player that Tommy Lawton eve […]

Hey Kids would you like a cushy number,
A job which gives you hours of mental slumber,
A billet where the silences are hardly broken
By a few drops of language as a throwaway token?

You’ll get loads of m […]

Argie Geordie Viking
Funes Pickford Sigurdsson
Silvery Brandstanding

Jordan Pickford can do it all
Can become a legend like Neville Southall

Johnjoe Kenny can grab some fame as
Apprentice to our passionate pounding Seamus

Mason Holgate gets illumination cash-free
From […]

Much have I mouthed shouts at the drought of goals,
And many a crepit stand and stadium seen.
Round many a woolly island have I been,
Far from the grounds which sheikhs and oligarchs hold,
Oft of a one-eyed land […]

Hey! (Hey!)
Everybody! (Everybody!)
All around the world
Every boy and girl
Taking lessons from me
See the Stupidity

Suarez biting Chiellini
His teeth break the offside rule
But he don’t mind the criticism, […]

How the hell can the Howard Webbs, heat-played, tumult–entangled, with restricted visions
And, heck, Montevideo fakes, avoid calls B-rated, suspect, with contra-versions?

How well can the World Wide Web replay i […]

Loyal, awesome one
Leon, Osman
Forwards chase back, commit keen
Fetch the ball, and carry can

Joins Jelavic, feeds Fellaini
Jinxer, jester, fast and feisty
Shoots spontaneous, scores, or high, too
Shaves the […]

He usually gets it right our boss David Moyes
“If you want to see some acting then you’re spoiled for choice”
Down the theatre worthy thespians keep on shaking their spears
At the movies glam vampires bleed imita […]

Everton 1 Homs Alone 2

It’s a great atmosphere in the Stadium of Peace, Tolerance and Racial and Religious Harmony in Jerusalem, where rival supporters are deliberately alternately seated all around the ground f […]

Landon Donovan
Landed at Everton
Landed from the Galaxy
“Land of Angelic Sun”

Into the Mersey mist
Scored goals, made assists
Landon’s brand of candy
Blends with Toffees, who were blessed

Folk singer Donov […]

Shankly’s charisma has covered the country
There’s a new cathedral on the banks of the Mersey
Anfield’s red army is on a Roger Hunt
For more than life and death and they’re showing no mercy

Yeats is the rock on […]

It’s sad to see a BBC documentary
“United”, a re-telling of the Munich tragedy
Descending to Hollywood-style inaccuracy
Its selectivity is plainly a travesty

Roger Byrne was the Babes’ inspirational captain […]

At the Congress of Berlin and San Stefano
Venus got Dizzy, and freedom got the Serbs
While some northern cricketers from Santo Domingo
Minted for winter confectionery superb

In 1879, one year after
Cetshewayo […]

They’re the oldest football club of the Cymri
The Ancient Ones in their magpie cloaks
They play in the black hills of Maelor Country
It’s just as deceptive as Marlborough Country
The glorious mountains mask deb […]

Pienaar and Donovan
Are Lords of Run Rings
School of Science in session once more

Let’s hope Stracqualursi
Jelavic, Anichebe
Will have Dixie’s gold vision to score

Kendall mints Osman
Harvey carves Fel […]