Football Poets

Sat in the stands (sic) in my cheap plastic seat,
Eden Hazard in his prime appeared at least to me
A little smiling faced kid, having unfathomable fun
That he chose to turn down a shed (sic) load o’ dough […]

Peeling spuds, washing glasses
Using knives n forks, serviettes and plates
With us…t’was greasy mitts in a chicken box,
Blue shirt proclaiming; “Gian-Franco Zola. God!”
Quaffing Stella by a mega aqueous telly […]

Carefree…we’ve finally elected our M.P.
But will he turn out be…the absolute db’s?
Could be eventually. Though…looks to me
Like we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?
If, or when we get relegated […]

Drop o’ rare old mountain dew
Silver flask passed twixt a few
Helped keep howling cross field chills at bay
After mass, hastily assembled over The Scrubs,
Cheered on by muckers and close bloods
Deemed a pro […]

Picture The Scene. Sloane Street. London. 10-52…

An empty sherbet, flagged down by a bald good-looking bloke,
Says, clearly desperate to get his derriere up and on the go,
“Driver, please take me to The C […]

Christmas, has just flown past
Flags are flapping at half-mast
An air o’ melancholy floats upon the breeze
Sauntering past a cinders football pitch
I relive every battle, fought upon it
When we feared n […]

“If The Toon score now, he’ll do his nut
He’s lost his marbles, near enough
What’s with all that static down the touch-line?”,
“Geezers totally lost the plot
Drop a couple o’ Yorkshires in the pot
No, I’m […]

Hmm…not sure a bunch o’ smug smiling faces
Being papped at a legends lying in state equates,
To what’s commonly known as respect in good taste?
But hey…like the cloggers, inept thugs
The Man…made […]

Colourful expletives pierced the air
After witnessing a scene said, geezer write…
Reminded of committed halcyon days
A sly dig in the ribs, a clump, affrays
Agin a whizz-kid, HP boots chalk dusted […]

Carefree…plagued by player injury
We are the famous WW.C(rocked).F.C
Another bod hits the sod, gets up looking lame,
Gaffer said, ”Best bell, Kev,
Get that spring chicken out a bedH
Maybe he’s free Satad […]

Southgate, Waddle, Pearce and Kane.
AKA, The four horsemen o’ the missed spot-kick
Are being lined up in brown paper bags, if their egos fit?
To advertise Pizza Hut, in a lucrative comedy skit
Oh my…what an […]

On another day…an able Kane
Could have, would have won the game
After all a second pen? Is a cinch, a cert, a doddle?
Alas, the England skipper blew his chance,
Of extra time against a fast-fading F […]

On the wrong end of a bruising
Before a heated half-time schmoozing
Warned the chaps to tighten up their belts
The touch-line Samba-esque celebrations,
Ramming home South Korea’s humiliation
Had me s […]

There’s going to be suites o’ dour n sauerkraut
In down-town Doha hotels, later on this evening,
As ecstatically happy Japanese fans clear up the stadium,
After their marauding gung-ho idols cleaned out the […]

Through a door left ajar
In a nigh empty sports-bar
I witnessed a scene of incredulous awe.

As a quite bizarre call by V.A.R
Benefits host nation Qatar
In the opening game versus Ecuador.

An Ecuador […]

Nutmeg the dead, and those unpaid,
The haram LGBTQ community
Our Sweet F.A. will applaud or look away
Assuring that twit Gary (Wonder what he’ll have to say?)
Our game promotes gender equality.

Qatar, are a […]

The World Cup in Qatar, due to begin
Will showcase teary-eyed partisan human beings
Singing national anthems loud n proud in unity.

Only this time, dubious sport, can/will take second place
The World having […]

Kleen-sheet keeper Kepa
Breeched three times
Down near Brighton Beach.

Dumped on by The Sea-Gulls
All at sea defensively
Three points…drift out o’ reach.

“Oi ref! Change goalie?”, makes no dif […]

“T’was a fabulous left-footer Mateo…l have to say…
Streaking forward, to score a goal, fit to win any game
Though I barely recognised you…fully clothed after Saturday”,
T’was a flash o’ pure brilliance…excu […]