Football Poets

I like watching Armchairs
When they are playing football.
They’re full of skill and on the ball
They are really comfortable.

But when they play the Sofa
I don’t think it’s fair.
They have a disadvantage so
I […]

‘We only had nine men.’
We shouted to the other team.
Gloating about our victory,
Not unfairly it would seem.

But they responded with,
‘I don’t know why you’re feeling pride?
You obviously had the advantage […]

My lucky scarf accompanies me
To every single game.
But my team very rarely win
Maybe my scarf’s to blame.

Is it really lucky?
Now I’m not so sure.
Maybe it’s the reason
That my team can’t score.

Maybe I should […]

There’s a man who sells Rosettes
Outside White Hart Lane.
He never ever sells any
I think I will explain.
They’re home made and they look good
And lot’s of time did they did take,
He just didn’t notice till he […]

Steeple United haven’t won
A game for a long while.
You’d think that their supporters
Would be in denial.
Just to let you know,
So there is no confusion,
The fans of Steeple United
Are under no illusion.
They nev […]

My Auntie June
Arrived too soon
She wasn’t due today.
She wasn’t impressed
That the house was messed
But still she decided to stay.

My Mum was upset
The house wasn’t clean yet,
She said, “She wasn’t expected. […]

I think it’s strange, something my dad did say,
About how I’m going to change my mind one day
About getting married, which I do not want to do,
He told me, “Once I felt the same as you.
But I changed my mind and y […]

Walking to school one day
I was in the middle of a daydream.
I was dreaming that I was scoring
The winning goal for our school team.
I sometimes think I’m a an astronaut,
And sometimes a cowboy in the w […]

‘Offside,’ says the referee,
The goal it will not stand.
We in the crowd did not agree,
An explanation we did demand.

But the referee will not explain
The decision he has made.
He says, ‘I have travelled in the r […]

The Dad’s of me and Jim and Jaye,
Were sitting in the pub one day,
It’s where they seem to spend most of their lives,
But they were not just drinking beer
There was a conversation going on here
About where eac […]

My Dad says when I get older
I will appreciate,
When two people care so much about me
To argue over my fate.

I just don’t understand then
If this statement is right,
When it’s time for the football teams to be […]