Football Poets

She was talking to me under the radio,
under the Saturday food programme
guests cautioned against innuendo

who went for humour in unlikely combos
while eyes sank lower above the wheel.
If anything can […]

Oh for the stresses and strains
On another exhausting season
So goes the popular consensus
In the world of David Moyes
You can now hear those creaking,
Groaning, snapping, rapidly
Decaying claret and blue […]

This little-boy-masquerading-as-senior-citizen
still dreams –
but it seems
reality is ever more clear-cut;

for every piercing pain
or aching joint
brings an inevitablility of non-attainment
to this football-nut!

Yuletide is fast approaching,
And all the talk’s of gifts.
Old Santa’s gearing himself up
To work his yearly shift.

The kids are writing letters,
To make clear every wish.
And adults too are at it, […]

For those of a claret and blue
Disposition repeatedly
At times or so it seems
A massacre on a monumental scale
First it was Villa a while back
Now it was down by the Cottage
West Ham sunk by the […]

Everton v Newcastle 3-0
This kind of brave and
convincing display
by Everton is some kind of
Amadeus Mozart music when
the passes were followed by
Ole! and Ole!
But there is all the music of
the world […]

On the day when
The FA Cup’s grand
Bourgeoisie found
Their station in life
The January third round
And those at the higher
End of privilege
And entitlement
Meet the earthy
Grassroots of the
Artisans and […]

At least we’ll be here a year from now because
there’s three teams worse than we are
who deserve to go down.

You can park your bus in our midfield,
drive a tractor through our defence.
Slalom freely our […]

A bitter Marsh Lane for Kidderminster,
Cup o’ Bovril and a piping hot Ginsters,
Or something just like one, from out o’ the hatch,
And then, there’s the whistle, and eyes one the match;
Both teams promo […]

I buried myself in my sport
There’s no doubt I gave it my all
For whenever a match was mentioned
Without fail, I always heeded the call

Put a ball at my feet
And I was off like a whippet
Always to the s […]

This hardly seems possible
Christmas festivities just
Around the corner
And West Ham begin to
Believe that Santa
Has already arrived
In garments of claret and blue
The European odyssey
Has now taken […]

Oh Venners how we’ll miss you
Terry Venables
A comfortable seat in heaven
Awaits you, sir
Although never knighted
But we were simply delighted
To be part of your star studded
Journey, the voyage that […]

on heady days stood in the Shed
for six sweet years you were
imperious and smiling
as we tore out our hair
when I was young on Saturdays
I’d be there win our lose
and you stood firm composed and s […]

We’ve all seen them arrive,
a scarf across their shoulders
filched from the club shop,
or sometimes wearing a shirt
to show their commitment is real.

Photo op completed,
before statements for the m […]

Sat in the stands (sic) in my cheap plastic seat,
Eden Hazard in his prime appeared at least to me
A little smiling faced kid, having unfathomable fun
That he chose to turn down a shed (sic) load o’ dough […]

The past is another country we visit
every Monday evening on an artificial
surface, where all time is extra time
and those sixpences we turned on are victims
of inflation, physical contact frowned
upon and […]

Peeling spuds, washing glasses
Using knives n forks, serviettes and plates
With us…t’was greasy mitts in a chicken box,
Blue shirt proclaiming; “Gian-Franco Zola. God!”
Quaffing Stella by a mega aqueous telly […]

1/
Home to Woking, here awoken were the City boys;
and, thus awakened, broken was grim storyline
that, with glowering shadow thereto threatened;
token of our doubtful minds.

2/
Yet, so doubting, could […]

Carefree…we’ve finally elected our M.P.
But will he turn out be…the absolute db’s?
Could be eventually. Though…looks to me
Like we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?
If, or when we get relegated […]