Football Poets

Mis-match of the day : Innocence v the forces of evil
Venue : Battery Park
where workers, tourists, families, loved to lark
myself included
(I used to work there)
but now the terrorists have intruded
unwanted […]

A third boy
Such joy!
And with your name
Who else could you be
But Patrick the Hat-trick

Almost got the 5-a-side team now
With a gnarled, snarling, churlish (and ancient) sweeper
Just need a spritely, bouncing […]

The White Feather, Fabrizio Ravanelli
He’s back, scoring goals on our telly
In celebration, he loves to show off his belly
After giving it some welly
Turning keeper’s legs to jelly
(Even seasoned int […]

There I was, thinking I could win
Just like a hundred thousand others
My psyche shudders
At my own audacity
That my own pernickety, pernicious,
Tetchy, tenacious, self
Could possibly have the capacity
To select […]

I see red words
On a screen so white
Sagely put, for one so young
Yet she’s fit to scream
From so much dung and shite

United, by a love of green
She pitches the ideal
Of ditching the obscene

I support a team i […]

Another day, another dollar
Another season, through which he’ll holler
Barrack and cajole
This mighty beanpole
Bringing home the bacon
While busy makin’
Save after save after save
And everyone will rave
As he soa […]

No, not another spelling shocker
At least, not on my part
A bright yellow sweatshirt
‘Simply Socker’ motif
Writ in an arc
Following the curve, of an international symbol
Instantly recognisable
A piebald bal […]

Knitting the defence together
The sweeper needles all around him
With his constant tugging
And woolly excuses to the ref
But cleverly switching the pattern of play
He weaves his way up the pitch
Threads a defence […]

Deification
Of football heroes
Is in need of nomenclature.
Mere non-mortals
Ascend to Sainthood
Picked by Papal pronouncement
Rather than whomsoever is incumbent at the Dell.
But we have to look
To a certain Red […]

The sound of the crowd
Dissipated
By dint of time
The calendar calling
For summer fun
Fine, for some
But to us, a big, black hole
Akin to a cave
And lo, we must behave
Like big brown cuddly bears
We retire from […]

United City
in fact, could you think of a more dis-united Borough than Manchester
and it’s environs (wouldn’t you just love to scold ‘em, in Oldham)
– amazing how a missing comma can set you off on a tange […]

Treat ‘em mean
And so he does
Does Roy Keane

Fit and lean
And so he is
Is Roy Keane

A washed up has been?
No, not yet, not for a while
So please smile
Roy Keane

My first ever goal
Was scored in the playground
I wasn’t even playing, just munching
While the big boys, were crunching
Tackles flying, ball skying
I was just an innocent bystander, a first year infant
I’d los […]

A soft own goal by Geli
As Liverpool beat Alaves five – four
Such golden drama on the telly
As the cups runneth over once more

Boy oh boy, what neck, what gall
To see you standing there so tall
Lining up with the United team
Every schoolboy’s fantastic dream
Undetected, until Roy’s glare
Reveals the imposter posing there
A real cheeky cha […]

Sheryl crowed
But Gazza coined the phrase
That pays
The snog on the Tyne
Is all mine, all mine
And playing the buffoon
He sang out of Toon
The tears, from that clown
Famously, letting his guard down
Showing his […]

Dwight
With your smile so bright
Yorke
Give it some torque
To your current belle
90% of men, would love to have her ring their bell
The other 10% prefer flatties, couldn’t handle the swell
But it must be hell
To b […]

Anyway, to the matter in hand
A comment on a sport, that’s popular all across the land
Tally ho!
Well, it is, you know
Where else could you get hundreds of people out in all weathers
Drinking in the Fox and H […]

Air heir lair
I say old boy
How awfully good of you to invite me to spout a few words
Jolly good show, what
That Butler fellow, awfully good chap
Where would we be without him, never put a foot wrong
Except maybe, […]

A middle aged person
Who’s fiscal attributes worsen
Daily
Ceilidh
Loves football, all the matches, all the players, including Merson
Sometimes inspired, to verse ‘n
Stuff
Enough