Football Poets

Fulham Relegation Haiku

Fulham. Gone Too Soon.
The Way You Make Me Feel. Bad.
You Can’t Win. Beat It.

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I’ve Got One In (A tribute to Albert a Fulham fan)

‘Mine’s a light and bitter’, Albert would say.
‘I’ve got one in,’ before the fray.
I’m here in my corner, reading my paper,
Checking that life’s still in order.
Ready to talk to my many friends,
Never thought it would come to an end.
‘I’m from Battersea Dogs Home’ Albert would say.
My manor was Fulham, every day.
On my “bi-cycle”, the black and whites way.
Came to Aston Clinton, with only a few quid.
Married my wife Pauline, I am so glad I did.
As ‘Peter the Painter’ I plied my trade,
And soon became known, far and wide.
So many memories I had to share,
So many stories plucked from the air.
Never boring with Albert our mate,
Always had the time to talk, till late.
I didn’t think I would be leaving quite so soon,
Thought I had time for another tune.
But that’s life, never goes as you plan.
So I hope when I get to heaven,
‘I’ve got one in’!
Thank you for being my friend
Thank you for being with me to the end.

By Simon Icke Aston Clinton

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Fulham 0-3 Chelsea

A derby ditty
A win so pretty
Fans so happy
All a-clappy

A win so easy
Bright ‘n breezy
Three points in the bag
Our progress doesn’t flag

Our hairy Brazilian
Scores a goal in a gazillion
A double from JT
Adds to the glee

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Chelsea 0-0 Fulham

Well you just knew
from it being on last
chances askew
and slumber fast

the game finished
to a chorus of boos
the fans vent
downcast Blues

a consecutive clean sheet
but no goals scored –
the common factor
that sees us bored?…..

all shout…..

“RAFA OUT!”

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Sonnet #1; “Fulham, the Selling Club”

When will it ever come to pass
That we keep in the squad a core of class?
Is it the club, or just the wages?
The same has happened to us for ages.
..Robson was with us for a long, long time,
But we allowed West Brom to take his prime.
Mullery went off down the ‘Lane
To shield the Hammy End from the rain
Sniffer got flogged to pay the rent,
But Frank arrived: and the cash was spent.
Louis Saha, the best in years…..
“We’ll take him cheap”, said Man U “…and Cheers!”
Much the same will happen with Moussa..
We help the rest, and stay the loser.

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Fulham, a few weeks on

I take my eye off them a minute…

Having just remembered to see how we went,
I looked us up on the internet.
Fully expecting to get a reward
Anticipating that they’ve put to the sword
the two teams I knew we were scheduled to meet
Both sitting ducks we’d be certain to beat.
Instead to my horror I find the reverse
We fell to them both. And wait – it gets worse
Not only we lost, we DID NOT SCORE A GOAL
From 5 goals to nothing. Pride before fall?

So this is what it’s like being a Fulham supporter.

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Dempsey ends win streak- Fulham 1-0 Liverpool

The last time it was five
But no more test drive
Reds lacked a Christmas Carroll

Suarez dictated the play
Then a red card for Jay
Left them staring down a barrel

Martin Jol sought a first win
Fulham went for the win
Richard told me ‘we’ll leave you stranded’*

Pepe spilled from Murphy
Knocked in by Dempsey
Kenny’s men left empty handed

05.12.11

Number7
(c) Emdad Rahman

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Triple Maxi: Fulham 2-5 Liverpool

Carra hits triple six
Passing Crazy Horse and Clem
Second to Cally’s record fix
Encore for Kenny’s Red Gem

Ninety minutes of pure chaos
Maxi! Maxi Rodriguez
Mopped up with tomato sauce
Left side braised by Suarez

Cruise control at quavering Cottage
Spurs Harry sees Kuyt’s fifth in five
Lukas took Murphy hostage
Maxi hat trick with a sizzling drive

Hangeland looked a boy Scout
El Pistolero scores and plays the violin
Sidi Moussa and Sidwell add clout
To seven goals in a mighty Reds win

09.05.11

Number 7
(c) Emdad Rahman

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Reds wear the Pants: Liverpool 1-0 Fulham

Hangeland off the goal line
Reds hold for a scrappy win
Full blooded Pantsil
Slicing Torres’s deflection in

Handshake from Dalglish
Sparky with rousing footwork
Dembele let down the Cottagers
Constrained by Raul and Dirk

Dalglish sought another rout
10-0 win in eighty six
Kelly is coming of age
Pepe was a wall of bricks

26.01.11

Number 7
© Emdad Rahman

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