Football Poets

Castro Man

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 It was Cuba versus Scotland,
At the stadium in Havana,
Jock McHaggis flew down there
To wave St. Andrew’s banner,
The Hotel El Splendido
Gave him a room without a view,
So Jock took a stroll down town
And had a drink or two…

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Lounging in a local pub
He observed a man come in,
Puffing on a long cigar
Through the beard around his chin,
The man ordered a tequila,
But when asked to pay,
Glared straight at the barman
And had this to say…

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 “No Senor, for me ees free,
A loyal football fan,
Viva Cuba and Ole!
I am a Castro Man..”
“Senor,” the barman mumbled,
“Eet was wrong of me,
I now see you’re a Castro Man
And for you all dreenks are free…”

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Just then another man walked in,
Big cigar between his lips,
“Tequila,” he demanded,
“Weeth tortillas and corn cheeps..”
But when asked for payment
Roared, “I’M A CUBAN FOOTBALL FAN!
AND SEE MY BEARD AND BEEG CEEGAR??
I AM A CASTRO MAN!!!”

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The barman wailed, “Forgeeve me please,
Eet ees plain to see,
That you are a Castro Man
And for you all thees ees free..”
Jock considered carefully,
Then finished off his dram,
“A bottle o’ Scotch whisky,”
He requested the barman…

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 But when he was asked to pay,
Jock simply shook his head,
Looked the barman in the eye
And this is what he said..
“Hoots mon laddie, it’s on th’ hoose,
For a Scottish foo’ball fan,
Bonnie Sco’land an’ Och Aye,
I am a Castro Man…”

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 “Senor,” replied the barman,
While the patrons laughed and jeered,
“A Castro Man you cannot be
Without a beeg ceegar and beard..”
Jock just lifted up his kilt
In the tartan of his clan,
Said, “There’s m’ beard an’ big cigar,
I’m a Castro Undercover Man…”

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The pub erupted into cheers,
And Jock was carried shoulder high
Up and down Havana’s streets,
Shouting, “OLE!” and “OCH AYE!!”
Barman and patrons all agreed,
When it came down to bare essentials,
Jock qualified as a Castro Man,
‘Cause he’d presented his credentials…

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