Football in the Sitting Room
¶ 1
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Football in the sitting room
Is frowned upon in certain quarters.
So absence is required of wives
And mothers too, and snitching daughters.
¶ 2
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Football in the sitting room
Means you must make a bit of space,
Armchairs pulled back to the wall,
And lamps moved to the hall, in case.
¶ 3
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Football in the sitting room
Is won by strength of legs and thighs.
Confined spaces mean that games
Are often won by strength and size.
¶ 4
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Football in the sitting room
Requires a soft and spongy ball
Not something very hard, with which
A careless volley means a fall.
¶ 5
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Football in the sitting room
Will have you quickly out of breath.
But if you’re caught, expect a slow
Excruciating, painful death.
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