Tales from the bar
¶ 1
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Frozen and thawed forever in the cold
They’ve smacked me with no mercy
Watched many a shooter offload
Not a slight hint of an apology
¶ 2
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Hursty once spun and thumped me
Just one of millions of kicks
Football came to a standstill
Through my mischief in sixty six
¶ 3
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Public gasp as the communal heart clogged
Somewhere in the region of a week
I spluttered and split my spleen
Whilst the nation held back a shriek
¶ 4
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My merriment abruptly came to a cease
Spoilt by that man Tofik’s shrill whistle
An historic intervention indeed
One with the gale force off a missile
¶ 5
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There’s been many moments of humour
Chiefly when Phil Babb played slide rule
Poor sod just couldn’t apply the brakes
As I gleefully thwacked his crown jewels
¶ 6
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Nevertheless, a great comic moment
Agony etched all over his face
Or was it just a smirk or grin?
No, very much a painful grimace
¶ 7
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Did you know that I have many friends?
All within footballing showbiz
Yashin, Banks, Maier, Schmeichal
Then there’s Higuita and Barthez
¶ 8
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An old friend would hold me and tell me his woes
And bawl me when protecting his fort
Thus Dino held out for a record 13 games
With the Zoff I had a unique rapport!
¶ 9
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I once gobbled up a knights belter
One who partnered mighty king Kev
An ever ready and suave gentleman
Better known now as Sir Trev
¶ 10
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They kiss, hug, headbutt and shine me
Some even tap me thrice for good luck
A big no, no once during panto season
As Fatty Foulkes played Friar Tuck
¶ 11
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With netside cams much unwelcome
Andy Gray has become an intrusion
Final Word technology has put paid
To my much valued one time seclusion
¶ 12
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Number 7
© Emdad Rahman
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