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The cockatoo

Peter Goulding

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 It was a large cockatoo,
As black as your shoe,
Though nobody knew
Where it came from.
It just blew in one day
And they christened it Ray,
Though God knows where they
Got the name from.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 And it perched on the bar,
With its large beak ajar
And a twinkling star
In its eyeball.
And when crosses came in,
The defence in a spin,
It would squawk with a grin
“That is my ball!”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The ref checked the laws
And each subjugate clause,
As the bird took the applause
Proud and regal.
But despite the grave doubts
And the strong giving-outs,
It was clear that Ray’s shouts
Were quite legal.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 It changed ends at half time,
Changed the scene of the crime
(And I’m doubtful if I’m
Being lied to.)
The away team was bitter
‘Bout this foul crossbar-sitter,
But could not shift this critter,
Though they tried to.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 With each deep curling cross
Came the cry “Leave it boss!”
The defence at a loss
Who was calling.
And among the disquiet,
The home team ran riot,
Untroubled by why it
Was bawling.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The fans cheered and clapped
As the keeper just flapped,
Which was really an apt
Choice of word.
With that feathery knave,
He did not make a save
And the terraces gave
Him the bird.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 He tried shaking the bar
But that didn’t get far
For black cockatoos are
Quite inert.
With his face in a scowl,
He tried flicking a towel,
But the home fans cried “Foul!
That might hurt!”

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 And so Ray sits there still,
With his squawk loud and shrill,
Causing keepers to spill
Tricky crosses.
And its well worth recounting,
The goals keep on mounting,
With away teams left counting
Their losses.

© Peter Goulding 8th November 2007

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-cockatoo/