Why Don’t People Whistle Anymore?
Why don’t people whistle anymore?
My dad used to embarrass me
With his whistling constantly,
Any refrain
That came in his brain,
And he could go on for hours
And hours
And hours;
And even though he embarrassed me
With his whistling constantly
I have some veneration
For my father’s generation
And it’s ability to whistle
Like the thrush they call the missle;
They could do it at the drop of a hat,
Whether standing, sleeping, sitting or sat,
But now you only whistle free
If you are a referee,
But why don’t people whistle anymore?
It’s not as though they’ve passed a law
Making it a criminal offence
To disturb the silence whence
Some dictatorial attack
Like some Criminal Whistling Act.
So why don’t people whistle anymore?
If the answer’s not criminological,
Perhaps it’s sociological,
For it is not the case today,
And please listen, don’t go away,
Today there is less silence to break,
Less listless boredom to shake,
With Muzak attacking our heads
And radio alarms invading our beds;
Or is it because there’s just less waiting around,
Less staring aimlessly at the ground,
Less waiting for things to happen,
Like waiting for a train
Or sheltering from the rain,
And doing it in Public,
Communally,
In society,
But feeling alone,
In your private space,
Whistling.
But in our private world today,
You get in a car and straight away
You turn on your tape, radio or C.D.,
Get home and switch on the T.V.,
And there’s less private space in public today,
And that I’m sorry for to say
Is why people don’t whistle anymore,
But we’re going to even up the score,
But before I whistle oh so glad,
There’s just one more thing that I should add,
One item more for the agenda
Yes, perhaps we should look at Gender.
Why didn’t women whistle?
To Housewives’ Choice, pushing the Bex Bissell?
I never saw a woman whistle,
Whether dissolute or Catholic with a missal;
But now let’s put the horse behind the cart,
When in the past did whistling first start?
When was it first mentioned in literature?
Who was that first whistling creature,
Whistling a line
In prose, poem or rhyme,
In high pitch, medium or low,
Was it Shakespeare, Swift or Defoe?
But enough of ages gone by,
We should all whistle now, let us try,
And we’ll bring social whistling back
And get it back on the right track;
‘Whistle while you work
You needn’t feel a burke”
When feeling alone in public,
And musically expressing it,
With some furtive melody,
Someone else will join in, just you see,
And the you create harmony
From individuality,
And you reverse the 2nd law of Thermodynamics
With your whistling oscular aerodynamics;
“Strangers in the night
Exchanging Whistles”,
No longer tuned into
Contemporary
Unconscious
Loneliness,
It’s the end of Angst, as we know it,
And was it not Whistler, the painter and poet,
Who wrote plainly, in prose, not in rune,
That when you whistle a happy tune
You whistle and the whole world whistles with you,
But when you don’t whistle,
You don’t whistle,
Alone.
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Poems
Crispin Thomas
2nd May 2024
joe morris
2nd May 2024
joe morris
28th April 2024
Richard Williams
26th April 2024
joe morris
25th April 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
25th April 2024
kevin halls
23rd April 2024
Alex Saynor
23rd April 2024
joe morris
23rd April 2024
Crispin Thomas
22nd April 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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23rd April 2024 at 3:59 pm
Hi Crispin,
Yes sorry mate. Villa are still in Europe. Mistake rectified.
Cheers
Joe
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20th April 2024 at 12:04 pm
Hi Joe
Shouldn’t your title read your poem Farewell Europe England to everyone exccept Aston Villa ?
I know you mention them in your poem , but I do feel sorry for Villa re the national press .
Largely ignored. the hype was was all about Man City & Arsenal with a bit of a nod to the Hammers..but hardly a mention of Villa..
So well done to them
C
.
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19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
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19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
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