Football Poets

if footballs, had only replaced the guns
what matches they would have been

if trenches, had only been benches
with the intervening ground left as green

if rattles, had only replaced the tanks
then the […]

Pulp, lay mushed
in the wet November road
I knew it was such
from the remnants of the packaging
lying sodden in the gutter
some having escaped
the trampling underfoot
of the modern revolutionary horsepower

but […]

the ‘net;
attracting like a spiders web
enthusiastic scribblers
praising dribblers
and now with tomes in mind
to put poems in bind
to catch footballers between the sheets
perhaps emulate the success of the The […]

Was it a drug
That explains the fug
Or is it the onset of senility
That has the FA crying ‘pinalty!’

Some sections boo and hiss
But for refusing to take the p**s
Has this one time West Ham wonder
Perpetrated a […]

There’s an inevitability
As to how this will occur
Success will be fleeting
Go by in a blur

We’ll top the table
Before anyone has us sussed
But by season’s end
We’ll probably have gone bust

Old reliables, […]

Not for me, to only sing when we’re winning
No, I also like to be pictured, suitably grinning

Not for me, to only sing when we hand out a beating
No, for I really like it, that I still get centre-seating

Not for […]

From head to foot
I flick and kick
From top to toe
To and fro
Shoulder, knee
Neck and heel
Older me
Yet young I feel
From hip to lip
I twist and flip
Twirl and spin
and flick ag’in
Lobbing…
Eye on the ball
That […]

shimmy chamois leather
keep your legs together
natty nutty megs
from trusty left pegs
chirpy chippy chaps
preventing overlaps
busy whizzy wonders
bizarrely begetting blunders
nippy pippy pups
winning whirled […]

A pointed opinion
In the dominon
Of St James Park
Left Welsh Robbie
Not Peruvian Nobby
Plummeting into dark

For a brandishing arm
Signalling calm
Sent Robbie collapsing
Though certainly not gentle
T’was totally […]

They all start off dreaming
Then comes the collective screaming :
Teams, from every corner of the land
Try their very best, whether praised or panned;

And for all these clubs, their FA Cup dreams
Start from […]

We feel it in our fingers
We feel it in our toes
Duff is at the ground
And so expectation grows

He shimmies on the wing
He’s everywhere we go
So if you really love him
Come on and let it show

You know we love […]

shimmy, shimmy, little star
now we know, how good you are
setting all the world alight
showing skills on Sky at night
shimmy, shimmy, superstar
little diamond’s what you are

3 poems celebrating the beginning of a new football season

Hindsight

it’s only at the back-end of the season
that we’ll really see the front-runners;
rewind
foresight here and now,
might just crystalise the […]

from what i see
everybody loves football
from what i hear
the whole world talks about football
from what i feel
the whole world reverberates to the beat of football
from what i taste
football is a feeding ground […]

The press picture you, wandering lonely as a cloud
Deep in thought, as solemn a manager as ever seen
But that’s because you are scrupulous and proud;
The Fifth Estate, are as happy as they’ve ever been.
The […]

when in Rome, do as the Romans do
BUT
when in the hands of Roman, what then?
what to expect?
all Chelsea fans wait, with baited breath
will we see the end of Chairman Ken
and all the debates
in which he […]

With much delight
And total recall
I answer as quick as a flash;
Alan Ball

Senior, Junior
Father and son
I love these quizzes
They’re so much fun!

in the 2002 / 2003 Premiership season
a certain Frenchman, lost all sense of reason
for in the closing stages of the League
Arsenal let slip, a comfortable eight point lead

but Arsene Wenger, would like it to be […]

football kits
are becoming ever more fancy;
soon enough
with all their new pipings
we could see them imbued
and flavoured
with tasty trimmings;
a lemon twist
an orange tang
a lime groove
a kiwi kiss
a melon and […]

Up to the top of the Premiership table
they climbed on the back of great results.
Roared on by partisan crowds
neutral or not, everyone exults.

And the noise grew longer and louder
as chords struck raw nerves; […]