Draft letter from Bas (1st draft)
To Whom It May Concern:
May I firstly introduce myself – I am Basil a six year old West Highland Terrier and official mascot of the Stroud Football Poets. ( see www.footballpoets.org) You may recall that you considered me for the post of England manager in the interregnum after the resignation of Mr. Keegan, but rejected me, presumably, on the basis of age.
I now feel that as a more mature dog, and British to boot, (or should it be paw? Woof! Woof!) I am much more worthy of consideration this time around. My ball skills and fitness are readily seen on my local Common as well as on the website mentioned above, whilst I have an almost instinctual ability to train sheep (and they are surely little different from your average footballer?). In addition, I watch football on the telly with a passionate avidity and leap out of my basket every time a goal is scored by whatever team. I need not draw your attention to the contrast this presents with the present incumbent.
Breeding, good taste and manners also prevent me from drawing any public attention to my spotless private life. I have been neutered, however, if you wish to know. This means, in consequence, that I am devoted to the toy dalmation that inhabits my back garden, and devoted to that inanimate dalmation alone. I now draw a veil over these matters of the heart but I am sure you see, once more, the contrast I represent with the current manager.
In addition, I have studied the two world wars in some detail, with especial reference to the trenches; Dunkirk; the Battle of Britain and the Blitz. I would find it easy, in consequence, to summon up an appropriate half time analogy to motivate the lads. In conclusion, I am sure that you will give this application the serious consideration it deserves. I enclose a SAE and eagerly await your reply – I would hope that I will not be rejected on the grounds of speciesism, however.
Yours faithfully
About This Site
Welcome to Football Poets -- a club for all football poets, lovers of football and lovers of (alternative) poetry. Discover poets in every league from respected internationals at the top of their game to young hopefuls in the school playground.
Publish your football poems here and then discuss them with your team mates and fans. We're archived by The British Library, so your masterpieces are in the safe hands of a world-class keeper. What a result!
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Latest Poems
joe morris
6th May 2024
joe morris
4th May 2024
Crispin Thomas
2nd May 2024
joe morris
2nd May 2024
joe morris
28th April 2024
Richard Williams
26th April 2024
joe morris
25th April 2024
Denys E. W. Jones
25th April 2024
kevin halls
23rd April 2024
Alex Saynor
23rd April 2024
Crispin’s Corner
In Memoriam
Kick It Out & Christmas Truce
Latest Comments
29th April 2024 at 2:47 pm
Hi Denys,
Yes Richard Williams you’re a brilliant wordsmith, my friend. When I first saw your football poetry I thought it was the superb Guardian sports and music writer. I once had the honour of sitting next to Richard Williams while at the Independent on the sports desk. He writes about music and sport with immense knowledge and authority. I’ve read a couple of Richard’s books recently. Great writer rather like you Richard Williams the Pompey fan. Congratulations on promotion.
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28th April 2024 at 5:59 pm
Thanks Denys. Yes your replay poem was superb.
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26th April 2024 at 4:46 pm
Nice work, Joe. You were quick off the mark with that! Good one from Richard Williams too I see.
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25th April 2024 at 7:33 pm
Hi Denys,
Thanks mate. I’ll do it now.
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25th April 2024 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Joe,
you might like to write a poem yourself on the same subject…
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23rd April 2024 at 4:03 pm
Hi Denys
With you all the way on the abolition of FA Cup replays. What are they doing to the game?
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23rd April 2024 at 3:59 pm
Hi Crispin,
Yes sorry mate. Villa are still in Europe. Mistake rectified.
Cheers
Joe
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20th April 2024 at 12:04 pm
Hi Joe
Shouldn’t your title read your poem Farewell Europe England to everyone exccept Aston Villa ?
I know you mention them in your poem , but I do feel sorry for Villa re the national press .
Largely ignored. the hype was was all about Man City & Arsenal with a bit of a nod to the Hammers..but hardly a mention of Villa..
So well done to them
C
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19th March 2024 at 8:00 am
Hi Crispin. Chris Sutton on the radio has gone for a Chelsea v Coventry final. As we know anything can happen in the Cup, and I reckon we can go to the final.
We’re still in with a chance of the play offs too, so lots to go for.
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19th March 2024 at 7:41 am
Hey Kev
Let the masses drool over their odds on City v Unted Final, but who knows how pressure can hit.
Cov and Chels will be rightly labelled as having no chance..but hey …stranger things have happened..
so Chelsea v Coventry…that’s the Final for us!
Best
C
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