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For some reason, which I haven’t quite worked out,
I receive a lot of e-mails from Nigeria. You probably
know the sort of thing: ‘I am the son of the Late President,
‘acquired your name from impeccable sources,
‘desire to enter a business relationship
which could be worth millions.’ Being the suspicious type
the first time I had one of these marvellous offers
I checked it out with the local Force
and of course, it turned out to be a scam. My dreams
Of buying Bristol City turned to rust. I still go to work
Early, on the number 7 bus.
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However, yesterday, the steady flow
Of rubbish in my mail-box took a further twist
When I received another variation on this theme
Which rather took my fancy. It seems
That the Nigerian football team are looking for a Coach
And I have been shortlisted to apply. It is of course
Another desperate ruse, but I think I can use this to my own good.
I mean forget The Booker Prize. Who needs the Whitbread?
From now on, I can write on my CV
‘Short-listed for the position of Coach
to the Nigerian Football Team.’
How can I refuse?