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Bookends

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 After Rovers’ relegation
Jock wen’ into deep despair,
Wept an’ wailed an’ gnashed his teeth
An’ tore oot all his hair,
But it made nae diff’rence,
So he cried,”Woe is me!
I think it’s best I kill m’self
T’ end this misery…”

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Rovers droppin’ t’ Division Two
Had been a shatt’rin’ blow,
Groaned Jock,”It’s time t’ leave this life,
But which way shall I go?
If I want t’ make a statemen’,
As a gesture ‘twould be grand,
T’ go doon t’ th’ Rovers’ groond
An’ jump off th’ main stand…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Else I’ll drink m’self t’ death,
But canna afford th’ booze,
I need t’ give a lot o’ thought
T’ th’ method I should choose..”
Jock considered all alternatives,
Walked roond an’ roond th’ toon,
Couldna make up his wee mind
How t’ bring th’ curtain doon…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 So he wen’ t’ th’ Public Library
An’ asked,”D’ y’ have a book
On ways t’ commit suicide,
If so, could I take a look?”
“Aye”, replied th’ Librarian,
“It’s there upon th’ rack,
But y’ canna borrow it,
‘Cause y’ willna bring it back…”

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/bookends/