Celery R.I.P

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I hear there’s some heads in the cheap seats
Been planted to stem our fine song
True fans feel they’re stalked by the green police
Now that, us, throwing celery is wrong

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The wound left is raw, like a dull nil nil draw
When what was required was a win
We’re all in a stew, don’t know quite what to do
Cos (sic) with celery, they won’t let us in*

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Local greengrocers en masse are perturbed
Sales will fall flat from the ban
Those poor Fenland growers are sure to be hurt
When their produce is dropped by blues fans

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The implications of this ban are severe
You can’t sing our song, without segments of green
That on cue in each verse are dispatched in the air
It’s a vision that has to be seen

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Like Samson having his barnet cut
Or ravens fleeing the Tower of London
Will the throwing of celery being banned at The Bridge
Set us up, for all sorts of the strangest conundrums?

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 The picture that’ll always stay etched in my mind
Is the Carling cup win at The Millennium
Of Cesc Fabregas being celeried on the touchline
As blues fans rained their topaz upon him

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 That look in his eyes? One of startled surprise
He shrugged and got on with the game
Cesc son, when you’ve been celeried by them blues
Nothing that you go on to achieve, will ever quite be the same!

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 As a piece of real folklore get’s put out to pasture
In green fields, where such produce is grown
You can say in the future when those new fans ask yer
“I was there,…. when the celery was thrown”


My mate was at the game yesterday, where he watched in dismay as a bloke was ejected from the Bridge for being in possesion of….celery!

I kid you not, the bloke was shouting at the jobsworths as they led him away, “But I was only throwing celery” As the fun boy three used to sing “The lunatics have taken over the asylum”. No standing up. no celery. What next? No singing, then a Bovril and burger ban?

This strange celebration is part of our terrace folklore, no-one seems to know who started it, but who cares? We’ve been doing this for years all over the place and no one has ever, to my knowledge, complained.

Another mate of mine, Joe, was on holiday, in some far away city in America,with four or five Chelsea fans, after a few drinks they started to sing this song “Celery”. When this yank fella came to sit next to them and asked Joe (me mate) what the song was all about, Joe said “I’ve no idea, but we sing it at every home game, at Stamford Bridge, in London, when we go to the football” “You sing this song at the soccer?” said the yank . “S’right” said Joe. ‘Would you sing it one more time for me and my wife please”? said the Yank. So they did,with gusto and the yank bought them a round of (five) cocktails, for a hundred and twenty five dollars for the priviledge of hearing it!



*Cos, is a lettuce, I used to be a barrer boy, so I got to know about this stuff.

Celery. R.I.P very sad or what?

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/celery-r-i-p/