Celery R.I.P
¶ 1
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I hear there’s some heads in the cheap seats
Been planted to stem our fine song
True fans feel they’re stalked by the green police
Now that, us, throwing celery is wrong
¶ 2
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The wound left is raw, like a dull nil nil draw
When what was required was a win
We’re all in a stew, don’t know quite what to do
Cos (sic) with celery, they won’t let us in*
¶ 3
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Local greengrocers en masse are perturbed
Sales will fall flat from the ban
Those poor Fenland growers are sure to be hurt
When their produce is dropped by blues fans
¶ 4
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The implications of this ban are severe
You can’t sing our song, without segments of green
That on cue in each verse are dispatched in the air
It’s a vision that has to be seen
¶ 5
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Like Samson having his barnet cut
Or ravens fleeing the Tower of London
Will the throwing of celery being banned at The Bridge
Set us up, for all sorts of the strangest conundrums?
¶ 6
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The picture that’ll always stay etched in my mind
Is the Carling cup win at The Millennium
Of Cesc Fabregas being celeried on the touchline
As blues fans rained their topaz upon him
¶ 7
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That look in his eyes? One of startled surprise
He shrugged and got on with the game
Cesc son, when you’ve been celeried by them blues
Nothing that you go on to achieve, will ever quite be the same!
¶ 8
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As a piece of real folklore get’s put out to pasture
In green fields, where such produce is grown
You can say in the future when those new fans ask yer
“I was there,…. when the celery was thrown”
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