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HISTORICAL FOOTBALL

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 We’ll start in the Stevie Stone – age,
when people resided in a cave,
led by a Robbie Savage,
who was never taught to shave.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Kenny Sansom loved Delilah,
he was always trying to impress her,
and he was the strongest man on earth,
until he went to his hairdresser.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Gus Ceasar was a Roman,
who never lived to tell the tale,
and when his people cheered him on,
they cried out Alfie Hale.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Alan Knight had a round table,
Paul Baron fought the Picks,
and Tony Norman keeps going on,
about the great team of 66.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The gallant William Wallace,
fought King Edward and his troops,
and many centuries later,
he’d be starring for the Hoops.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Ted Drake of Chelsea used to travel,
across the seven seas,
plundering lands for Gerry Queen Elizabeth,
whom he yearned to please.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 He’d bring her back tobacco,
necklaces and pearls,
much to the annoyance
of her pandering Robbie Earles.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The John Tudors were a funny breed,
just look at Nick Henry the eighth,
when Roma said he could not divorce,
he just went and changed his faith.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 He wasn’t a pleasant Ledley King,
not a nice Joe Royle,
and when his wives upset him,
his blood would Johnny Boyle.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 He’d take it out on the people,
by hiking up the tax,
and then the poor old missus,
like Venables would get the axe.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Craig Shakespeare came from Stratford,
and wrote a few olde plays,
‘ to be or not to be’
is still a favourtie phrase.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 There was Captain Charlie Cooke,
who sailed the blue Pacific,
the natives loved him dearly,
they said he tasted — just terrific.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Sammy Nelson won Trafalgar,
in eighteen hundred and five,
with one arm disabled,
and a black patch on his eye.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Steve Livingstone, and Gary Stanley,
you know them I presume,
spent their time in Africa,
where Livingstone met his doom.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Queen Victoria reigned a long time,
she owned a ground in Stoke,
she married Phillippe Albert,
a decent German bloke.

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 President Abraham Lincoln City,
got involved in a civil war,
and Barry (Lord) Kitchener of Millwall,
got a rough time from the Boer.

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 The Titanic left Southampton,
bound for the New York shore,
but a tackle by Henning ice Berg,
left it on the ocean floor.

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 David Connolly led the Easter Rising,
a Peter Thompson gun in hand,
and John Collins continued on,
to try and free his land.

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Ian Wallace, Ronnie Simpson,
she seduced the future King,
and Bobby Hope of West Brom,
he hung out with a bloke called Bing.

20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Stokes Neville Chamberlain, declared war
in nineteen thirty nine,
as hoardes of German soldiers,
poured across the Rhine.

21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Mick McCarthy (ism) led the witch hunts,
looking under peoples beds,
he must have been looking for Liverpool fans,
cos he said he hated Reds.

22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 Ray F Kennedy the President,
gunned down in a street in Dallas,
conspiracy theorists concluded,
he secretly followed Crystal Palace.

23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Martin Luther Blisset King,
crossed the color line,
and Gerry Armstrong landed on the moon,
in nineteen sixty nine.

24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Jimmy Carter farmed his peanuts,
was for the poor man not the rich,
unlike Spurs Ben Thatcher,
who was a right old ***** devil.

25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 I’m now up to the modern day
and my football brains gone lame,
just trying to figure out ,
did Kate Bush ever play the game.

26 Leave a comment on verse 26 0 So the History C.S.E grade six,
has finally come into play,
so I’m putting down the pen now,
until another day.

8

Notes

any problems with the historical facts or dates please refer them to Mr Griffin , Head of History at Selhurst High School for Boys. He can take the blame.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/historical-football/