Honours even in London derby
¶ 1
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So it’s honours even
In London derby
East met North
In gunslinger’s shoot out
Swords drawn
Pistols loaded
For bragging rights
Territory claimed
As theirs or yours
Flintlock and blunderbuss
Powder kept dry
Perhaps
Sharpened for battle
And then
West Ham met Spurs
Share of the spoils
Predictable draw
Soucek ensures
No Czech mate
Soothes the claret
And blue fevered brow
Hitherto West Ham
Sluggish and stodgy
Still lost in the summer haze
Awkward and self- conscious
Perhaps not really paying
Attention to the teacher
One win, three defeats
And the first draw
Room for improvement
Must sit up straight
For David Moyes
Evening classes
And learn the verbs
Past, present and future
Swot up on your pronouns
Metaphors and similes
West Ham, be alive to the
New season
Wipe the collective sleep
From bleary claret
And blue eyes
Spurs purring
Pompous posturing
Could be accused of
Masters of the easy
Pass, so civilised
And pleasant to watch
Joyous jewels of passing
Own goal last night
But Conte is one
Shrewd and knowing coach
Wise in the ways of the world
And then City wear their
Finest pinstripe suit and bowler
Hat. Firstly breaking into the Palace
With four on Saturday
And then six against Forest
Last night
Who looked lost and without
A compass last night
Send out a search party
To find the Forest clearing
While Chelsea lose their sainthood
At St Mary’s
Southampton’s chapel of joy
Liverpool who hit nine
Against the Cherries of Bournemouth
Merseyside’s morellos.
Find yet another Anfield pageant
Of goals, painterly passes, a vision in
Perfect red
Sweetness and light, then
A last-minute winner to save their blushes
Liverpool, still one of Marlon Brando’s
Contenders near the top
The Premier League
No League like it.
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