there’s a man in Mid-Wales who makes models
exquisite like stars we adore
in praise of the goal celebration
and the stuff that some do when they score
what brings out this moment of madness?
you can call it it a blip or a curse
a spur of the moment creation
but I bet that it’s very rehearsed
are they unfulfilled stadium rock stars
addicted to milking the praise
do they need to get out more (unlikely)
do they practise in secret for days?
from the aeroplane wheeling of Gerrard
to Drogba when he was on form
to overhead twirling with Lua Lua
is it something they learn to keep warm?
and was Wellbeck insulting the master
when he took up that Cantona stance?
but anything’s better than having to watch
as Crouchy delivers that dance
there are some that are classic and epic
there was Shearer who’d raise his hand high
or when Agbonlahor cups his hand to an ear
with a smile for a perfect encore
did it start with a young Ravanelli
that impudent scoring machine?
and it’s been here for ages adorning back pages
that old ‘shirt-on-the-head’ type routine
there are millions of others still out there
all those ten second styles of elation
there are fingers galore wagged at fans when they score
all in praise of the goal celebration