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Innes Always Wins

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 His posts are too close.
The ball won’t cross the line.
“Offside!” he yells,
then he just grins.
If you had a dose
of that nephew of mine,
you could tell
Innes always wins.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “The ref didn’t see it!”
“It’s half-time!” he cries.
You’re always on
needles and pins.
It should be three-zip,
but he comes back and ties.
When it’s ‘Game On’,
Innes always wins.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 In Grandma’s back garden,
on a proper field,
he’ll make you pay twice
for your sins.
Your soft heart will harden.
Your keeper will yield.
When you play him,
Innes always wins.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I’m not sure he’s learning
much football from me,
but if I were his age,
we’d be twins.
The fire is burning
so hot he can’t see
that it’s staged
so Innes always wins.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 But life becomes crueller
when you get past six,
and you’re coping
before it begins,
and I’ll never be cooler
for such simple tricks,
so here’s hoping
Innes always wins.

3

Notes

Inspired by my nephew Innes, the future President of FIFA (and under whose rules a goal-scorer is frequently offside in 1 v 1 football), on the occasion of his seventh birthday, which coincided with my third consecutive 9-10 loss to him. TM

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/innes-always-wins/