Innes Always Wins

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 His posts are too close.
The ball won’t cross the line.
“Offside!” he yells,
then he just grins.
If you had a dose
of that nephew of mine,
you could tell
Innes always wins.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “The ref didn’t see it!”
“It’s half-time!” he cries.
You’re always on
needles and pins.
It should be three-zip,
but he comes back and ties.
When it’s ‘Game On’,
Innes always wins.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 In Grandma’s back garden,
on a proper field,
he’ll make you pay twice
for your sins.
Your soft heart will harden.
Your keeper will yield.
When you play him,
Innes always wins.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I’m not sure he’s learning
much football from me,
but if I were his age,
we’d be twins.
The fire is burning
so hot he can’t see
that it’s staged
so Innes always wins.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 But life becomes crueller
when you get past six,
and you’re coping
before it begins,
and I’ll never be cooler
for such simple tricks,
so here’s hoping
Innes always wins.



Inspired by my nephew Innes, the future President of FIFA (and under whose rules a goal-scorer is frequently offside in 1 v 1 football), on the occasion of his seventh birthday, which coincided with my third consecutive 9-10 loss to him. TM

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/innes-always-wins/