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I dreamed Bill Gates had bought West Brom on his banker’s good advice.
He said, ‘Tony, if it’s cash you want, you won’t need to ask twice.’
So Mowbray got to work and with the first stroke of his pen
He signed van Nistelroy, and with the second, Arsharvin.
Then Klose, Torres, Ribery, and more and more, they came
To strut along the Brummie Road, the finest in the game.
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Within a year we’d won the Premier League and FA Cup.
Next year we won the Champions League, and things were looking up.
And for a while the Baggies fans boing-boinged and were delighted,
As their team struck fear into the hearts of Chelski and United.
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But other changes came along, some daft, some quite insane;
You couldn’t get a balti pie – just lobsters and champagne.
And ticket prices rose and rose – you’d question the morality.
New boxes lined the Smethwick End for corporate hospitality.
They roofed the lot so that the nobs below would not get wet,
And built a strip where Bill & Co. could land a Lear Jet.