Football Poets

Open Letter to Malcolm Glazer

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 This tangible ingratitude
Does not bode very well,
The very hostile attitude
Is rising to a swell.
It might sound like a platitude
But why go through the grief
When every Red supporter just
Regards you as a thief?

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 But Malcolm, we would always see you right,
And Dublin, sure, is just an hour’s flight.
We would not be impolite,
You could set this club alight
If you brought your lovely money here tonight.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Why bother with United?
They do not want your cash.
You’ll end up feeling slighted
Like some trailer-parking trash.
Your stewardship is blighted,
For they’ll never trust the Yanks,
And despite your generosity,
You’ll get no vote of thanks.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 But Malcolm, we would always see you right,
For money in the Eircom League is tight.
It may sound somewhat trite,
But you could always fly a kite
If you brought your lovely money here tonight.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 If you’re thinking of investing,
Why not come to Tolka Park?
There’d be no mass-protesting
At the turnstiles after dark.
The Gards won’t be arresting
Any bolshy foul-mouthed yobs,
And we’ll fill in applications
When you’re handing out the jobs.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 And Malcolm, we would always see you right,
We’d greet your massive cheque-book with delight.
Other clubs would yell in spite,
And Pat Dolan would turn white
If you brought your lovely money here tonight.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 It must be quite distressful
When you read those raucous threats
That Old Trafford will be less full
And you’ll multiply the debts.
But your record is successful
In transactions in the States,
Why not throw some money over here
And help improve our gates?

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 For Malcolm, we would always see you right,
There’s no-one here to offer you a fight.
We would praise you to a height
For your great financial might,
If you brought your lovely money here tonight.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 So throw your cash upon us,
And we’ll bow down at your feet,
Those European honours
Do sound very, very sweet.
We are not prima donnas,
But when glory comes, perhaps,
We will all grow silly beards
And walk round in baseball caps.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Ah sure Malcolm, we would always see you right,
We would always be respectful and contrite.
You would be our shining knight –
There’s the carrot – won’t you bite?
Ah please, bring your lovely money here tonight.

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