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Poetry Archives

Wanted Man (at Hounslow Central)

Wanted man at Hounslow Central
Wanted man outside the Stoop
Wanted man on Chiswick High Road
Wanted man at Botanic Kew

Wanted man outside the Beehive
Wanted man in Osterley
Wherever you might look tonight a wanted man you’ll see

Went to sleep in Uxbridge
Woke up in Syon Lane
Now I’m wondering why I’ve ended up
In the bowels of GSK

There’s somebody set to grab me
Anywhere that I might be
And wherever you might look tonight
There’s a kettle without the tea

I got sidetracked by the SEAT
Stopped to get myself a map
Walked the wrong way down the New Road
straight into a honey trap

Wanted man outside the Griffin
Wanted man at Button’s back,
Wanted man at Sainsbury’s local,
dipping in there for a snack

Wanted man on Brentford High Street
Wanted man in Gunnersbury
Wherever you might look tonight a wanted man you’ll see

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The Greatest All Time Vegan Team

the greatest all time vegan team
from Man U Derby Forest Green
from Everton and Liverpool
from Spurs and Arsenal Chelsea too
from Birmingham to QPR
the greatest vegan team by far ,,,,,

Edwin Vanilla Der Sar
Robbie Cabbage
Ashley Coleslaw****
Danny ‘Blanched’ Caulifilower (RIP 1926 –993)
Terry Vegetables
George Gravyham
Aaron Lemon
Soy Of The Rovers (1889- present)
Dixie Bean (RIP 1907 –1980)
Chrisian Soyge
Daniel Porridge

Manager@ Tofuny Pulis

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Old Harry and his Wife

What if we forgot to start pre-season,
found a training camp for enjoying time
above crickets and distant fireflies?

What if we only started the season
to fulfil a contract? Where is the passion
which made us run through the tail end of June

on stony wasteland between the chines

when no-one was watching or measuring
shots and misses or all the ground covered
as the sun hung on to its residence?

What if we forgot to start pre-season
so ‘The league table never lies’
means nothing but everyone is equal

as light floods the piers and beaches of Boscombe
and Bournemouth, Old Harry and his Wife
constant in the season’s incoming tide.

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Towards Inclusive Atmospheres

a friend and I were talking
before the match last night
on language and behaviour
and stuff that we don’t like
on how we felt about it all
the things that we believe
to not be thought old fashioned
to not be classed naive
but still we feel uneasy
we quiver at the sounds
of racism and sexism
we’ve heard inside some grounds
the words we term ‘industrial’
the things you always hear
and take for granted at a game
within the atmosphere

we spoke about our childhoods
the post war world we knew
when we’d escape on Saturdays
for just a bob or two
the fifties and the sixties
the long gone People’s Game
when we were kids and working class
we stood through snow and rain
the jostling on the crumbling steps
the wags with instant jokes
it felt inclusive even though
the crowd was mainly blokes
but still we cast our minds back
to when we packed in there
to clap and wave our rattles
within that atmosphere

no gestures rude or menacing
from crowds that swayed and roared
with passion and excitement
every time we scored
The terraces we squeezed onto
the Bovril and the tea
before the game was marketed
beyond the likes of me
no hint of homophobia
you sometimes get to hear
inside our stadiums today
that loom up tier on tier
and though we long to change it
we sit or stand and stare
as though it’s part and parcel
of football’s atmosphere

and now it’s all celebrity
the salaries the cars
the mansions and the lifestyles
of football superstars
when football turned into a brand
and something disappeared
the ticket prices went sky high
within that atmosphere

from Premier League to Russia
from Istanbul to Rome
from grass roots up to Wembley
‘accepting it’ has grown
it’s time for us to speak up
it’s time to make a stand
to make this game inclusive
and welcome for all fans

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There’s a Goose Loose aboot this Hoose

We’re all going on a summer holiday
The football season has begun
It’s the Milk-League-Carling-EFL Cup
The chance for a decent cup run

Norwich City played pretty well
Scoring three goals in the first forty-five
The rain was teeming, attendance so-so
Enjoying ‘the return’ of watching it live

Well, wouldn’t you know it
“the biggest cheer of the night”
Went to The Goose on the wing
Who did three laps on his debut flight

Being an August cup game
Even though we’d already scored
The crowd were easily led and distracted
(Though I wouldn’t say they were bored)

The Goose sparked off a Mexican wave
As he flew past each stand to applause
After three laps he disappeared down the steps
To the concourse, like on all stadium tours

A gallant fan gave up his jacket
The Goose was safely wrapped
Released to safety, no harm done
The crowd laughed and whooped and clapped

A good night was had by all
City go through to the next thrilling round
But what fans really hope for (other than Ipswich at home)
Is the return of The Goose to our ground

Though, like all good tales, I realise
You really had to be there
Our goose puns will soon fall flat
But it was fun, and fun should always be shared

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Nuno Espiríto Santo

Last season we bought players
Thirteen in through the door
The fans were loving it
And still they wanted more.

But it turned into a disaster
There really was no hope
With a squad of thirty-four
The manager couldn’t cope.

So Walter went and Lambert came
But the basic problem stayed the same
Too many players, doomed to fail
And Lambert’s coat on a shaky nail.

And so the clear out came at last
This pantomime now would have a different cast
With fifteen players out the door
They then recruited eleven more.

Of the thirteen players only three remain
And we thought it might be the same again
But Fosun it seems have made their last gaffe
And brought in Nuno with his backroom staff.

Big players, big talent, big money spent
But Fosun it seems will not relent
Their aim is promotion and have no doubt
They’ll do what it takes to bring that about.

New thinking, new methods, a new style of play
With the quality plain to see on the opening day
With Molineux rocking, ‘Boro were here
And now we know we have no-one to fear.

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Biography of the Fan

The ball from Manchester United
museum said to me

“What about you”

I have been here for years

The football player Fabregas
said he spoke to the ball

It is so EASY

He takes the penalty
saying to the ball
dont’ betray me

In 1982 I started
watching football

I have supported 4 clubs

And I retired

But only one thing I knew
before my retirement as the fan
was that I loved the FORWARD who
I called COTTEE
who was EVERTON’s Toffee

There was SNJESKO CERIN
the Dinamo forward
whose name
means SNOWWHITE

and I loved MESTALLA
and the famous BYCICLE DRIBBLE of BALJA(player’s nickname)

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Here For The Salad?

this is when you pinch yourself
dust that scarf from off the shelf
we ain’t scared of no-one else
we are FGR
brand new season brand new era
can you feel it drawing nearer
see our vision growing clearer
raise that concept bar

seats of green lie silent waiting
local hearts anticipating
eco-friendly no debating
living out the dream
days like this will linger longer
time to rise up and be stronger
and confirm that we belong here
up at Forest Green

Forest Green ? But where I hear?
in the middle of nowhere?
Did the salad bring you here?
here to FGR
Wembley mem’ries back in May
blow those cobwebs all away
now it’s here so come the day
come from near and far

perched up on our hillside home
clock our fan-base how it’s grown
see our pitch by solar mown
up at the New Lawn
come and taunt us if you dare
world is changing we don’t care
we’re just grateful to be here
swapping meat for Quorn

we’re prepared for mocking chants
we reply ‘Give Peas A Chance’
come up here and take a glance
this is who we are
call us upstarts when we score
tell us that our menu’s poor
our agenda’s something more
this is FGR

close to Stroud but could be Mars
vegan food electric cars
beer’s organic in our bars
in our bright green home
here where grazing sheep will greet us
we boast Q-Pie and fajitas
green agendas? you can’t beat us
we are on own own

catch the wind that turns the mill
by our home upon the hill?
call us anything you will
“hippies -blah blah blah”
‘fairy tale’ tags out of date
laced with jealousy and hate
we don’t punch above our weight
we are FGR

all those seasons we have known
changing football’s face alone
in a league that’s all our own
we are FGR
are you open can you take it?
are you ready to embrace it?
can you feel it can you taste it ?
up at FGR

this is when you pinch yourself
dust that scarf from off the shelf
we ain’t scared of no-one else
we are FGR
brand new season brand new era
can you feel it drawing nearer
see our vision growing clearer
raise that concept bar

seats of green lie silent waiting
local hearts anticipating
eco-friendly no debating
living out the dream
days like this will linger longer
time to rise up and be stronger
and confirm that we belong here
up at Forest Green

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Summer Ball

In summer, a fan keeps you warm
A match, lights your barbecue
The ground is where you plant vegetables
The spot, is on your face, it grew

The ball, requires a DJ
A net, to protect soft fruit
Summer Saturdays carefree and long
Scented by sun cream and the great smell of Brut

First day of the season, we’re buzzing
Treading water is over, football lifting our mood
We’re back at the game, back with our crowd
The pies are baked, the beer is brewed

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Ball – a journey

Laced up tight like a corset
And kicked, from Devon to Dorset
But then
When can no longer be fully pumped
Brusquely dumped!

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/page/2/