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Sillybration

HUGH MORRIS

Monday, April 25th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Striker Timothy McTwaddle
Was prone t’ jubilation,
An’ ev’ry time he scored a goal,
Indulged in celebration,
Which he practised right in front
O’ a full-length mirror on th’ wall,
But one day was interrupted
When he heard a plaintive call…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 ‘Twas two bedraggled strangers
Lookin’ for some cash,
Askin’, “Ha’ y’ got some work f’ us?
We’ll give anythin’ a bash..”
“Aye,” said Tim, quite kindly,
“Behind th’ hoose y’ll find some wood,
Take two axes from th’ shed
An’ chop it up as best y’ could…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 F’ tha’ I’ll pay y’ twenty poond,
Plus a cup o’ tea..”
“Thank y’ Sir,” th’ men replied,
Genuflectin’ wi’ a knee..
Returnin’ t’ th’ lookin’ glass,
Tim reflected wi’ a smile,
As he heard th’ men begin t’ chop
An’ build up th’ woodpile…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 But then, while Timmy posed an’ preened,
Arms outstretched an’ head thrown back,
He noticed tha’ he couldna hear
Th’ choppin’ o’ th’ axe..
So Tim looked out th’ window
An’ saw somethin’ dramatic,
One man was turnin’ somersaults
Which were extremely acrobatic…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Wi’ leaps an’ bounds an’ tumbleturns,
Th’ man sprang five foot off th’ ground,
Did six backflips, a forward roll,
An’ spun seven times around..
Tim called out t’ th’ other lad,
“I saw wha’ yer mate did!
If he’ll teach me those gymnastic moves
I’ll give y’ another twenty quid…

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 ‘Cause from John o’ Groats t’ Gretna Green,
Th’ Hebrides t’ Firth o’ Forth,
If I celebrate m’ goals like tha’,
I’ll be th’ talk o’ all th’ north!!”
“Jus’ a minute,” th’ man replied,
Then he shouted, “Joe!
This bloke’s askin’ are y’ int’rested
In choppin’ off another toe??”

© Llew Beaton 25 April 2005

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/sillybration/