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Sweater From America

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 When you go, please don’t send back
a sweater from America.
And please never turn back
from Manhattan to Edinburgh.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 After the match the other day
I spent my bus ride thinking about
all the talent that’s drained away
from my country and my local club-

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I wonder where they went to,
and did they get cash in hand?

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 When you go please don’t send back
Budweiser from America.
Although you can get cashback
from Sainsburys or Santander.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 We watched with elation,
you cannot imagine
how glad we felt the day you went
to New York Red Bulls on a Bosman.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 We should have sacked you.
We should have sold you.
You were always overpassing-
your balls were way too long.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 When you go, please don’t come back,
it’s wetter than America.
Will you have flashbacks
of Scots who were better by far?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Baxter no more
Gemmill no more
Jardine no more
Law no more

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Bremner no more
Strachan no more
Jinky no more
Stein no more

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 I hope to my bones
if you ever return
you won’t kick a ball
back in my hallowed Easter Road.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Because we all love Hibs-
I think we all know we love them.
We don’t have to roam the world,
our heaven’s here at home.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Ormond no more
Turnbull no more
Reilly no more
Smith no more

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Johnstone no more
Stanton no more
Miller no more
Orr no more

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 When you go you’ll eat flapjacks,
get fatter in America.
Take a look in the mail sack-
no letters to you from your Ma.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Dalglish no more
Hansen no more
Souness no more
Shanks no more

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Lochaber were poor
Sutherland scored four
Lewis scored more
Skye, a draw.

Another Proclaimers pastiche. Apologies as per my previous posting.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/sweater-from-america/