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The Ballad of Rico’s Tash

Peter Goulding

Wednesday, August 13th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 How could he be so careless?
It’s worse than people feared.
His upper lip is hairless,
His ronnie’s disappeared.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The nudity’s disarming
Twixt his upper lip and nose,
And what’s even more alarming
Is, it might affect his prose.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Ireland’s greatest treasure
Is now on the wanted list.
We should show our displeasure –
Of course it will be missed!

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I can’t believe he shaved it –
Most grand of all creations-
You think he would have saved it
For the future generations.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 The country’s in a trauma
And the time is out of place.
Oh, Rico please restore your former
Glory to your face.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 No point in us complaining
At this crime so stark and rash,
We should be out campaigning
To recover Rico’s tash.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 If anyone should find it
And it offers no resistance,
They should very firmly bind it
And then call for some assistance.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 There’s a surgeon at the ready
With a scalpel and a drip,
And with a hand so steady,
He’ll re-fix it to his lip.

Notes

Damien Richardson, former League of Ireland manager, now soccer pundit, famous for his innovative use of vocabulary [“Bohemians’ interdepartmental choreography was strangely absent”] appeared on television with his trademark moustache shaved off. [Ronnie = Dublinese for moustache]
Resubmitted with an offending line rewritten.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-ballad-of-ricos-tash/?shared=email&msg=fail