When the transfer window closed how did you do?
Did you get a keeper with gloves like glue
or a stopper with the kick of a tetchy emu?
A wing-back whose clearances all miscue
or an old head who knows exactly who to pass to?
A centre-back with the close control of a clumsy gnu
or a young talent whose capture is really quite a coup?
A winger better suited to selling shampoo
or a dribbler with the skill to wriggle through?
A striker as mobile as a bronze statue,
a midfielder with the vision of ‘Blind Pew’,
or a schemer craftier than Cardinal Richelieu?