Football Poets

World Cup 2006 Day Thirteen

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Portugal 2 Mexico 1

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 It shaved the Hubble telescope
At near the speed of light,
A universal misanthrope
In most abnormal flight.
Astronomers around the world
All scratched their heads and blinked,
As into Outer Space it hurled
Till blurred and indistinct.
They checked the data they had gleaned
And drew conclusions from it,
And almost to a man, they leaned
To calling it a comet.
But later, it was proved to be
No comet, moon or star,
But rather, Bravo’s penalty
He blasted o’er the bar.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Iran 1 Angola 1

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Oh blow on your trumpet and pluck your viola,
Raise up your wine or your whiskey and cola,
Quote Marcel Proust, Victor Hugo or Zola,
Flatten bad thoughts like a giant steamroller,
Emerge from the dark, like a blinking pot-holer,
Marshall your troops like an air-force controller,
Sing “Shang-a-lang” like a Bay City Roller,
Claim the best prize in the bottle tombola,
Rise like the waves of the seas circumpolar,
Wear a white rose in your top hat or bowler,
Cut a large wedge from a fresh gorgonzola,
And say fond farewells to the men from Angola.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Argentina 1 Netherlands 1

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Oh God! What a bore
Between two marv’lous teams,
An absolute dearth of excitement.
What the world saw
Would not spark any dreams –
In itself quite a savage indictment.
Billed as a classic,
It never got moving,
Supporters were seen to be sleeping.
The football Jurassic,
The skills disimproving,
The purists were silently weeping.
Van Persie was moaning,
Young Kuyt kept on fouling,
Van Nistlerooy dived like a Jessie.
Riquelme was groaning,
Saviola was scowling,
And the orange defenders got Messi.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Ivory Coast 3 Serbia and Montenegro 2

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 A feast of flowing footie,
With incidents galore,
Defences soft as putty,
Just inviting teams to score.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 The Serbs appeared on fire
‘Ere their Montenegrin split,
Living on the wire,
They were champing at the bit.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 The masterful Ivorians
Were powerful and slick,
And footballing historians
Recorded every kick.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 The match between these nations,
Would have stirred the neutral fan,
But the television stations
All ignored it to a man.

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