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“You’re Fired”

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 They said I lost the room
Where all the players dressed
Thanked me for all my efforts
And wished me all the best
My replacement then appeared
Just minutes after my sacking
Only two days after the Board
Had given me their backing.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 They said, unlike the local grocer
I couldn’t set my stall
And that football’s a results based industry
So I was the guy to take the fall

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I’ll now go about my gardening leave
And I’ll spend time with the wife
Take more coaching badges
And get away from stress and strife.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I’ll rid my eyes – of their sleepless bags
And my hair of gray I’ll dye
And before I ply my trade again
I’ll work a bit for Sky.
Then I’ll go abroad to coach a while
To boost my resume
Come back next early season
when my options I will weigh.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 They said I left a bitter man,
When they gave me my termination
In that there is no grain of truth
Though I wish them relegation

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 So let them find their dressing room
And re-arrange their stall
Park the bus where the hell they want
Cos I hope they win F- all.

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Notes

Seems almost every day a manager is getting the heave- ho. Patience isn’t a virtue practiced by the new breed of owner. The days of a Busby, Ferguson. or Wenger managing the one team for over a quarter of a century will never be witnessed again. Seems like a coach nowadays expects to only see about two years ( months if he’s at Leeds or Watford) before the owner, the players or the fans decide that his company and their company have to part company. After that it seems like a process. Manager disappears for a while: Takes job overseas, for just the amount of time that he’s not forgotten but his mistakes are: Comes back refreshed and tanned looking and his grey locks have mysteriously darkened: Sits on sofa with Shearer for a month or two, being very careful not to be too critical: Someone gets the sack and he’s the new Messiah again. Expect to see Pardew back on the settee in the next week or two.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/youre-fired/