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Poems tagged ‘Goalkeepers’

Oi Ref…Swap Goalie?

“Oi Ginger! Go in goal?
Jimmy, you’re no good so ‘n so
You’re as useful as a fork for sipping soup”,

“But…Enda…”
“Ginger, I know you wanna play full- back
But six-two down, us getting thrashed
You in goal, there’s a chance we might improve”.

Sporting a raging bleating hump
I gave leather spherical a thump
Spat on me gloves, crossed myself in prayer
Dancing back to guard the battered goal
Cursing Jimmy, the so ‘n so
Firing daggers at him via a flaming glare.

Punching a corner unopposed
I’m dancing on tip toes
Twelve years old the saviour of the side
Wallowing in wondrous self esteem
I’m every London-Irish captain’s dream…
That young fella, Enda called to stem the tide.

In the eighteen yard box on me Tod
Rising rueful from the dewy sod
Smell of dubbined leather neath me chin
A gorgeous face beside the goal
Smiles, applauds, and stops mid-stroll,
“Hello Ginger bhoy, I’m Enda’s cousin, Erin”.

Making saves, struggling to talk
Fazed by simmering brown eyes, here, from Cork
A welcome distraction to keep the deficit at six
Braggadocio insists I scream, n shout
Inspiration of a sculptured marble pout
Leaning on my post, a blade a grass between moist lips.

The final whistle blows…six-four
Enda roars, “Three Cheers”, (Can’t recall who for?)
I’ve other stuff in mind than to shake a muddy hand
Striding across a sodden field of green
All of a sudden, my recently discovered dream
Sped off in the front of a Transit van, with Enda’s mam.

Christening Hooley, a table full of mates
Enda mentioned, Erin emigrated to The States
Wed a good for nothing lazy get, gave up the ghost
I prefer to recall the day, fate deemed I go in goal
Simmering brown eyes caressed my soul
Blade a grass twixt moist lips, pouting ‘gainst a post.

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Cramp is soooo 60’s

Cramp is soooo Sixties
Modern players don’t do cramp
They have cool injuries
Like metatarsals and ACLU’s
They do warm ups and warm downs
They Have personal masseurs and dietitians
They’re up to date on all nutrition’s
but they don’t do cramp

Cramp was for knackered, mud caked warriors
in the century gone by
who had literally ran themselves
into the torn up hallowed turf
with socks ran off
down to their ankles, exposing to the world
their battered shins.

Many’s the time a sporting opponent would lift the leg
and press the player’s toes towards his gasping chest
to relieve the excruciating agony of the tightened muscle.

Back then only goalies didn’t do cramp
everyone else did
The moments of diving around in the mud
Were occasionally interrupted with a lull in play
When the goal custodian would have a little stroll around his six yard box,
Maybe do the odd stretch or two
Always being careful to not exert himself.
Cos goalies didn’t do cramp.

So, if you ever read a football history book
and the piece on goalies cruise
You’ll find that the only keeper who ever got cramp
was Kepa of the Blues

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Only One Banksy( R.I.P. Gordon)

When millennials hear of Banksy
they think of the bloke who scrawls on walls
But when oldies think of Banksy
they remember the great goalie saving balls.
Of his heroic days at Wembley
especially in July of Sixty- Six
But it’s four year later we’ll remember more
the star between the sticks

It was a hot and humid afternoon
beneath the scorching Jalisco sun
when Banksy made the greatest save
that’s been bettered since by none

The great Jairzinho got the ball
He was on the right wing for Brazil
and he took on Terry Cooper
with the score line still nil- nil
He went ‘round Cooper skillfully
with confidence and ease
then heard a cry, “on me ‘ead son”
yelled in guttural Portuguese
He sent the cross in powerfully
and Pele’s head it met
and everybody watching thought
the ball was in the net.
GOL !!! screamed Pele excitedly
As he raised his arms with glee
“ Pele puts Brazil ahead”
said the man on I.T.V.

But Banksy on his near post still
was having none of that
and he hurled himself across
his goal like a circus acrobat.
He got his hand under the ball
after allowing for the bounce
“the greatest save I’ve ever seen”
the commentator now announced.

Jairzinho eventually broke the deadlock
and Brazil won – one to nil
but that save by Banks from Pele
Is shown and talked of still.
Now Gordon passed away last week
He’s moved to heaven from his grave
And the first question that God asked him was
“How the Hell did you make that save?”

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/news/poem-tags/goalkeepers/