Brass monkeys was the favourite*
Or taters in the mould
Only football fans venture out in it
When it’s blimmin freezing cold.
Wrapped up our sleeping bags
Us well prepared get set
As yer better half insists yer mad
Insanely stood, and cheering out in that.
Snug in front of the telly
Later with Horlicks and the dog
These two blokes flash their bellys
Sat au natural with out tops.
As Adrian points the finger
Towards who ate the pies
I watched aghast in utter disbelief
At the size, of these two gargantuan guys.
One bloke decked in Chelsea tats
And t’other? Genuine Geordie lard
Who rippled from his stomach back up to the neck
And badly needs a bra.
I know I’ve seen some sights at Stamford Bridge
But this pair trump the lot,
Cheering loud au natural, and half naked like old Iggy*
Sans a football top!