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You can take what you read in the papers
With an extra large portion of salt
It’s the truth, cross me heart, please God save us
From them low lifes who cover our sport.
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“Blimmin cry baby cockney, Evertons Lescott’ll suit me”
Said Noel with a smile on his face
I think what he means with his usual diplomacy
Is the Gallaghers ain’t John Terry’s mates.
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Bloke in question ain’t uttered a whisper
Since the story first broke (that’s hack speak)
With Man City’s Mark Hughes now insisting,
He’ll earn a million quid every four weeks.
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That’s a shed load of dough he’ll out earn Kylie Minogue
Madge and that other bloke Prince
Will he stay, will he go, will us punters be told
If and when he decides to jump ship?
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“For blimming kicking a ball” I hear you all bawl
I’m with you and I make you all right
Have the lunatics taken over the asylum?
And it seems like they have…
Then this sane bloke is saying…good night!