Strange and Unfamiliar Soundings

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Offered another seat in the ground
At cost by a mate of mine
Meant I’d to adjust to strange surroundings
Arriving in plenty of time.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Stuck behind the net is not the best
Place to take in the game
Or gazing in awe as you do toward the pew
Where one usually park’s his frame.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Warnings in the match day magazine
About staying sat in our seats
Were impotent threats that paper thin
Not one soul took heed.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Reminded of being stood up in “The Shed”
Brought fond memories racing back
Till the language I heard assaulting me neck
Near brought on a heart attack.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Now I’m no prudish punter
And I’ve heard some stuff before
But me mates were knocked asunder
Shellshocked by a mad furore.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Said language had a sort of slant
I couldn’t fathom out at first
Twas like a kind of stereo whining cant
Wild cats are known to verse.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The next onslaught did me ears in
So I turned me head to see
A muvver and her offspring
Verbally slinging it at both teams.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Would the stewards come and chuck ‘em’ out?
So we could watch the match in peace?
Lets face it would you fancy a row?
With two wordly birds, unless backed up by a score of police?*



Our club don’t allow home ties in the FA Cup to be put on a season ticket, so I don’t bother, and pay upfront for Premiership matches only.

A mate of very mine kindly offered a pair of us FA Cup tickets sitting/ standing alongside him for last Saturday’s replayed match against Everton so I went along.

I wished I hadn’t bothered now. As my poor lug holes were verbally assaulted for ninety mintues plus the extra time by a screeching and swearing throughout by this woman and what I presume was her daughter.

I asked my mate, feeling sorry for him, afterwards. “Do those two sit here behind you every week?” “No Kev and thank God they don’t” was his reply.

For the first time in years I’ve stood up for the entire game and not been threatened by a steward with an eviction notice either, so on the whole a pretty interesting day and to top that lot we were dumped out of the FA Cup on a shoot out!

Ever get the feeling you should have stayed home indoors?



*A score is Cockney slang for twenty of something.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/strange-and-unfamiliar-soundings/