The day I fought The Church

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 We pick up nets and goalposts
And cross above the railway track
We’re off to play a cup tie
I’m playing at right back

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 This is Wandsworth Common
On a frosty winter morn
It’s freezing and the grounds hard
We’re jogging to stay warm

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The opposition’s tasty
They’re also pretty old
This will be a test for us
To beat them and the cold

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 I have a fag and look at them
Some of them are massive
The referee blows his whistle
Whilst we just stand there passive

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I chip my fag, the game kicks off
We’re away to a flying start
The butterflies have been replaced
With a pumping of the heart

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 I get the ball and pass it back
To John who is our keeper
I feel some studs grate down my legs
The pain makes them feel deeper

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 I’m laying face down in the mud
This fellas on my back
I push him off me, get straight back up
And give this berk a whack

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 He gives me one right on the nose
I punch him in the eye
I’m so wound up with hurting him
It’s in anger that I cry

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Reserves and managers break it up
The ref just sends us off
I’m so determined on revenge
I couldn’t give a toss

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 We’re off the pitch and still we fight
I’m getting the edge
The fine for this is hefty
Its gonna cost some wedge

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 We pack it in, I’m hurting
Though I don’t let him see
I ache all over, I’m in pain
What’s he done to me?

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 My mate says ” Get him after ”
He starts to goad me on
I sit down on the touchline
And put a tracksuit on

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 We win the game, pick up the posts
And trudge back to get changed
Still the goading carries on
By now I feel deranged

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 I get changed fast and get outside
I light another fag
I’m gonna hurt this fella
I’m gonna do him bad

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 I’m standing there when he comes out
Jaysus give me peace
The man I was about to chin
Turns out to be a priest

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 He puts his hand out to shake mine
‘ Apoligies young fella
I lost my head out there just now
I really should know better’

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 I shake his hand with mine that hurts
‘ Forget about it Father’
That’s the day I fought the church
Forget about it?

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 peace.



Yes, this did happen and I expect to go to hell in a handcart for it!

Fourteen years old and a red mist descended to match my red hair!

Fighting with priests!!! My God whatever next? As the mammy would say, although I didn’t tell her at the time.

He was a ‘big un’ too as I remember. Ah well, as they say in Cork, what harm.

My hands hurt for ages after and I’m sure he had a word with ‘ your man above’ to leave me in pain for a few days as penance!!!



Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/the-day-i-fought-the-church/