• Heaven Struck By Thunderbolt (R.I.P Peter Lorimer)
    The strike of a thunderbolt blasts past Heaven’s Gates and God says to Jack Charlton “‘ere’s one of your mates, I know Trevor and Norman will be both happy too,” as he nods to Saint Peter to let Lorimer through. “There’s a place for you Peter out there on that wing. Now be easy with […]
  • Bobby Kellard (he was Well ‘ard)
    Some players are born to ramble Others play for just one side Bobby Kellard played for eight different teams And led them all with pride. Robert Sydney William Kellard A north Londoner by birth A born and natural, feisty leader And a salt man of the earth Near the earth, he was we know Standing […]
  • R.I.P. Diego
    Diego dribbled up to heaven Where he met Saint Peter at the gate. who looked at his credentials And said “give me a minute mate.” He then came back from God’s room Saying, “I’m sorry but you’re banned God said one time you borrowed But did not return his hand. So you’ll do some time […]
  • “Don’t Get Me Wrong.” (R.I.P. Ray Clemence)
    Graeme Souness, of his keeper Brad Friedel did rave As he acknowledged his brilliance for an exceptional save. “If it were nae for Brad, Blackburn would have got hammered today It was only himself that kept Tottenham at bay.” He said, ” Brad’s better than Bosnich, that bloke from Australia And more agile than Seaman […]
  • They’re wearing Cricket Pads up in Heaven
    “Why are you putting on cricket pads?” says God to old Saint Pete. “Cos Norman Hunter’s coming up and he’s dangerous with his feet. We’ll put him on Cloud number Six where he can hang his England Caps on pegs the cloud is already christened as ‘ Norman Bites Yer legs.’ Despite his reputation God,” […]