• Jurgen Klopp’s Teeth
    He travelled over from Dortmund to manage the Pool And the boys on the Kop thought, “This guy looks pretty cool” With his heavy metal football and baseball cap He came across as a rather endearing chap But for years his appearance had caused him concern And at last he could sort it, cos he’d […]
  • Wembley 99
    For the first time in history in the third tier Some misguided souls thought there’d be nothing to fear As we sang to ourselves that we weren’t really here Away trips to some truly grisly dives Against opponents who came out to scrap for their lives And after every defeat out came the knives Losses […]
  • Worse Things Happen At Sea
    I’ve travelled all over Europe following the Blues The story’s always the same – eventually we lose But this year the final in Porto awaits Though it should have been Wembley, and that really grates But we all know UEFA don’t give a toss about the fans So I’m forced to make short-notice travelling plans […]
  • It’s finished at Sunderland
    It’s finished at Sunderland Manchester United have done all they can But is it enough? The players look to Ferguson, even he doesn’t know Cos at City, there’s still two minutes to go For all the triumphs he can recall Today would be the sweetest of all Not just to reward a season’s labours But […]
  • Spanish Dave
    Spanish Dave So quiet on his debut, has he got what it takes? He’ll need building up, better feed him on steak They said “21 million, it’s some kind of joke What use will he be on a wet night at Stoke?” But in no time at all, we could see what we’d got Was […]