Poems tagged ‘Pundits’

Quality Punditry

Lack of quality in the final third,
Is the one phrase I wish I’d never heard.
Trotted out by pundits lost for words,
The useful and useless so casually blurred.

Quality player, quality ball,
Peter please stop, we’ve heard them all.
When City don’t score, they hardly ever win,
Michael, cheers for stating the bleeding obvious thing.

Why if a player hits the ball too well, Jeff,
Does the ball find itself nestling behind row F?
Andy, is winning on a cold rainy night in Stoke,
Really the biggest challenge in football to invoke?

Lots to learn from any titanic football clash,
Shame many of the pundits haven’t the insight to match.

Roy, explain the mystery so everyone will know,
Why the most dangerous lead in football remains 3-1, or so.
Lumping the ball seems to have gone right out of fashion,
Is that why no one can put a corner beyond the first man, Alan?

Goals win games, he’s got genuine pace,
Well-meaning cliches from all over the place.
If football is more important than life or death,
Then give us quality pundits is all we request.


Live Streaming Away

It’s not easy being a live streamer,
not easy at all,

when hapless camera crews seem
incapable of following the ball
or wiping rain drops from the lens
while we can see nothing at all
or zoom so far from the action
we could be up a mountain in Nepal.

It’s not easy being a live streamer,
not easy at all,

when enjoying such poor sound, plus
punditry so partial it’s funnier
than the late Bobby ‘Rock on Tommy’ Ball.
To add insult to injury, the gall,
they’re charging us £9.99 to watch
this live football.

It’s not easy being a live streamer.
No, not easy at all.

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Pun ditto

There are many do it
Gazza blew it

queuing up at the gantry
all mic’d up and psyche’d up
all suited and recruited –
more for what they know
than how they can say it

is not the same
as eloquence and charm –
oh for a “Doog” to disarm
the Lineker smarm

Lucid self-expression
is not part of the kit, that they now don
articulation, not in their repertoire
erudite, not on their cv

these guys were seasoned pros
who out on the pitch showed no fear
whereas we seek reasoned prose
neatly structured, cogent and clear

now the gamut, of glorified gods
gather garrulously
the epitome
of fame over faculty
a plethora of pundits opining
with cliché and curse
whereas we poets just do it
with bouquet and verse

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/news/poem-tags/pundits/