Football Poets

Dogfight III

Do not stand behind the goal and weep.
For we did not die. And the Prem can keep.

Who knows?

Perhaps next season, we’ll awaken
And find a promotion berth
Not yet taken.

Dogfight IV (literally) […]

There’s four trapped
But there’ll be just one escapee
Which club will be lucky enough
To be fielding Harry Houdini?

Dogfight II

Actually,
there’s no canines, in this caper

Just 3 birds,
the Canaries, […]

The phat lady slingeth forth
her words of beauty
But the dumpy diva
is dallying while on duty …
loitering with her larynx …
vacillating with her vocal chords …
teasing with her tonsils –
while we’re all […]

Victory tonight
And Chelsea will no longer be Champions elect
More ineluctable

And the joy that would bring
Is perhaps the only thing
That Blair & Brown cannot make tax deductible

buying a house
is a bit like Fantasy Football –
you have to look ahead, and think of the re-sale value.
will you be lumbered with a stinker?
will it be en-suite or sweet FA?
and then the lines get blurred […]

We know you don’t make the rules
But have to blithely follow them like fools
We might turn the air so blue
But trust your every decision is true

We’re sorry, so sorry
We’re sorry it’s come to this
We’re sorry, so […]

Funny thing, camaraderie
and how the nicknames that once amused
in the fullness of time
leave many bemused

Coco, Moose, Khazi and Penny –
shoring up midfield
who was it got past them?
not many

Up front, Swifty […]

Our spiritual father
who art gone to Heaven
we see you enter the hallowed ground
through pearly gates.
St Peter mans the turnstiles
ushers you through, uncontested
recognising at once, God’s keeper
a venerated […]

It’s his team
His club
His ground
Home leg

They’re his players
They listen well, but who can tell
How they’ll fare
Across two legs?

It’s plain he’s dissed
He’ll be sorely missed
His decision
To leg it

We musn’t […]

It wasn’t comical
but laughable
in a sardonic kind of way
when animosity
turned into
on-pitch affray

Not for the first time
Lee Bowyer attacks
a coloured person
how many more chances
should he get
and will his […]

“Well what do you make of all that then, Sergeant Lewis?”

“I’m not sure I follow you exactly, Sir?”

“Well, countless episodes and numerous series,
all set in a quaint city setting, among some of the […]

I’m old
and gnarled
and jealous

I watch them run
and play –
the zealous

How I wish
I could turn
back the clock

Line out
and be a pick
instead of epoch

As it is
I have to observe
from afar

For the miracle of […]

They make a fine defensive unit *
John Terry and Rachel Pair *
The Chelsea skipper tries to suppress a smile
But his unseen hands are – where?

Models in tandem on the catwalk
Yet in reality only a fantasy […]

I’m gouged, I’m goaded, I’m gutted
I’m tripped, I’m trapped, I’m butted

And I’m expected to say :
My good man, please refrain from these tactics
But I might add
I bet your father slept around without […]

Sorensen, Kiraly, Dudek and Carroll –
sounds like a firm of lawyers
and none of them ever played for Rotherham (the Millers)
but I fancy the only business client
that they could ever hope to represent
would have […]

Forty odd years now
running at
your side, football.
At first
you tripped me up, repeatedly
and I fell to earth
muddied but unfazed
as desperate, as any lovelorn,
to arise and chase you again.
And then
as my eyes […]

I guess I owe my life to football
for how else
would I have taken mine limbs
set off at a canter
and co-ordinated them
without the pursuit of a ball
how else
would I have learned to dive, to catch
without wanting […]

Wanted : Stenographer –
to record all the onfield dialogue – must be good with asterisks
Wanted : replacement referee –
and a sunbed, must have a tan, to rival Anders Frisk’s
Wanted : Barbara Woodhouse type –
to […]

Ronaldinho
with his quick-fire feet
and snipers aim
almost, almost
triggered Barcelona
into the Quarter Final frame

But cannonball JT,
pikestaff Lamps
and precision archer Duff
combined to prove
that sometimes, […]

“Back to life
Back to reality”

That’s what my bairns were singing all day
and Daddy happily chirruped the same tune
in excited anticipation
before heading off to play –
It’s a long time, from March to […]